That Is One Big Rock

On my recent mini-trip through Central Virginia, I had four hours to kill on a Friday afternoon and ended up doing the tourist-trap thing at the Natural Bridge and Caverns in (who would have guessed) Natural Bridge, Virginia.

I’ll have to admit that my expectations were pretty low going into this visit. I had visions of a National Lampoon Vacation-type of adventure since the attraction itself is pretty well-scoped. Natural Bridge is basically this, well, natural bridge, that was formed over many years when Cedar Creek (a tributary of the James River) dug a gorge through a mountain of limestone. So I imagined that there wouldn’t be a whole lot to do other than taking a couple of pictures of the bridge. For the most part, I was right but I still had a good time and glad that I took it in.

This place is out in the middle of nowhere but is directly accessible from Interstate 81 (about 3 miles from the exit) and the Blue Ridge Parkway (from where I was coming). I pulled into the parking lot and made my way to the Gift Shop where tickets can be purchased. It was overcast with periodic rain that day, but the drops had stopped falling.

When I got to the ticket counter I learned that the cost to the Natural Bridge attraction was $18.00 USD – ouch. Oh what the hell! The ticket agent lady also politely offered that a couple of school buses worth of grade school children had just entered Natural Bridge and that, while that mob thins out, there was also the very interesting Natural Bridge Caverns right up the road that I might want to check out. For an extra $10.00 of course. Nice up sell!  I hope I wasn’t giving off some sort of “I Hate Kids” vibe?

So off to the Natural Bridge Caverns (a mile or so from the Gift Shop back towards I-81). But first a quick change to put on my long sleeve Penguins shirt and a windbreaker – the Natural Bridge Caverns are 341 feet underground with a consistent temperature around 54 degrees Fahrenheit.

Here is a Flickr Slideshow of shots taken at Natural Bridge Caverns:

At the Caverns there was a small lot and an intimate gift shop where you show your ticket and are given a token. Every 30 minutes or so they take underground groups of 12 or so patrons and I had apparently just missed the last group, so I had a bit of wait until the next tour group. So I just sort of hung out looking at the assortment of rocks and minerals (quite extensive and expensive). I only embarrassed myself once briefly when I accidentally head-butted a collection of low-hanging chime rocks.

While I was waiting, our group slowly formed. Two separate groups of older adults from Texas showed up. They started shooting the shit about college football (UT and Baylor were represented). There were no fireworks though – no reference to Aggie Jokes or anything like that. A young couple with what looked to be about a five year old girl also were in the group. The wife had a Boston accent, so we Northeast and Southwest covered.

That is a terribly awkward segue way, but I have to tell the first (and to this date, the best) Texas A&M Aggie joke I ever heard. This was told to me right after I joined IBM in 1984 and was relayed to me (proudly) from an Aggie alum who was working for Computer Sciences Corp. I was working on an FSD project in which IBM was sub-contracted with CSC to bid on a large-scale DOD Air Force Logistics program called Stock Control and Distribution (SCD). Without the Texas accent of my colleague, the joke may lose something, but here it goes.

So this Aggie was going to do post-graduate work at Harvard. He had driven the whole way from College Station to Cambridge to get his registration all set up. The Aggie steps foot on Harvard Yard and seeks out the first person he sees – a highly sophisticated-looking chap with all the mannerisms and pedigree of an esteemed professor of this elite institution.

Aggie: Excuse me sir. Sorry to bother you, but I am from Texas A&M and this is my first day at Harvard. Can you tell me where the Administration Building is at?

Professor Douche: My good man, you should know right off that we at Harvard pride ourselves on the very best of everything in this world. The best undergraduate education, the best teachers, the best students, the best facilities. We also pride ourselves on the most proper use of language. My good man, at Harvard, we never, ever, end our sentences in prepositions!

Aggie (after pausing for a moment): Oh, OK, right. Excuse me sir. Can you tell me where the Administration Building is at, ASSHOLE?

On to the Caverns. Each tour group has a guide. Ours was a college kid who was actually pretty entertaining. Good energy. The caverns are cold and wet and there are some actually pretty narrow passage ways, so care needs to be taken, particularly when screwing around with a camera. They encourage flash photography, so I took (too many) pictures. Some even came out ok. No salamanders or bats were spotted though. The actual duration of the tour was about 40 minutes or so.

On to the Bridge. The Natural Bridge is not actually viewable from the Gift Shop area. You have to descend down about 200 feet of steps (or take a complementary bus ride) to get to the actual attraction, where they take your ticket. You round a bend on a walking trail and there it is. Though I had lowered my expectations, it was, frankly, a pretty awesome site. 215 feet high or so and 90 feet across.

Unlike the caverns, you are on your own – no tour guide. There are benches on either side of the bridge where one can enjoy a lunch and the sight. But basically, that is it as far as the main attraction. You take some pictures, Then you walk a little bit more. Then you take some more pictures of the bridge. No frills.

There is a enjoyable walking trail along Cedar Creek that extends from the bridge the whole way back to the Lace Falls waterfall. That trails extends for (my guess) about a mile and a half. Lots of nice scenery on that trail.

I did that entire trail and, by the time that was finished and I was back at the bridge, I was pretty well drenched in sweat from the long sleeves and windbreaker. It was pretty humid that day. So nothing wrong with getting a little exercise as well.

In summary, I am not sure if the attraction was worth the admission prices, but it is a National Historic Landmark after all and there are probably worse ways to spend $28.00. This post concludes with a Flick Slideshow of shots taken of Natural Bridge and Cedar Creek Trail in Natural Bridge, VA on Friday, May 13, 2011.