It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask

On the way back from Altoona on Sunday, we took a route that led us down I-81 and then US-29 through Virginia into Greensboro. After three days of bar-and-grill food, ballpark food, and pizza in the hotel rooms, we were all ready for something a little different. 

I had my heart set on a Cracker Barrel as I was hankering for some breakfast and strong coffee. I especially enjoy their Momma’s French Toast Breakfast, but when we located a CB, that restaurant was packed up with two tour bus’ worth of patrons, so we ambled down the road a bit. We settled on a stop off at a Golden Corral in Waynesboro, VA off of I-64 around 2:00 PM.

This was the first we had eaten that day, so we were all ready to grub. At the very least, Golden Corral would give us an opportunity to mix in a salad and some vegetables and there is usually enough variety at the buffet that one can find something to eat. Certainly not Fine Dining, but good enough. I never eat my money’s worth (the Sunday buffet at this joint was $10.29 a person), but from the looks of the other patrons at this particular location, Golden Corral couldn’t have been making much profit that day.

What a feeding trough. Place was packed. Reminded one of a cattle farm. Immediately after paying at the register, you are greeted by a Herder, who communicates with her Spotters in different locations of the restaurant. The role of the Spotter is to notify the Herder when there are some locations in their sub-trough in which some new cattle can be routed. There are cattle milling all around the restaurant of course at the various feeding stations and everybody it seems is in perpetual motion. Some cattle are exiting, some cattle are entering, some cattle are looking for new food, and most of the cattle are grazing, never slowing down while gorging for fear that they might not get their money’s worth.

In the trough across from ours, a very heavy set middle-aged man was doing work. He was rocking jorts, a tank top, and a do-rag.  Of course, you help yourself to the buffet at these places. The waitress is there to remove dishes and fill up your drinks. Here is an actual sequence that I witnessed at the nearby trough involving Jort Guy:

• Waitress: Can I get you a refill on your drink, sir?
• Jort Guy: Yes.
• Waitress retrieves refill and returns to trough.
• Waitress: Here is your drink sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
• Jort Guy: Could you fetch me a piece of that apple pie over there?

I guess the intensity of his grazing was wearing Jort Guy out. The desert bar was all but 6-7 feet away from where he was sitting. I just shook my head and laughed.