You might be familiar with the Internet meme termed First World Problems. These are trivial, in the grand scheme of things, inconveniences suffered by well-off folks living in industrialized nations. One of the simplest pleasures in my life is ridiculing and mocking folks that bitch and moan about their First World Problems. (Little Joys for Little Boys?) I am almost sure there is some direct correlation between one’s Douche bag Factor and their associated rate of personal First World Problems.
Unfortunately, I can run the old “Do As I Say, Not As I Do” rap with the best of them. Since I do have some sense of self-reflection and self-awareness, I was pondering on the drive back from our Pirate’s trip on Sunday July 8 just how whiny I was the day before. On that Saturday in Altoona I encountered a boatload of personal First World Problems. What is that old saying about individuals often exhibiting the same behavior that they find annoying in others? Bingo.
After seeing a couple of Pirates games in Pittsburgh on Thursday and Friday, we decided to squeeze in a real quick trip to Altoona before heading back to North Carolina on Sunday morning. There were a couple of simple objectives here:
See some Minor League Baseball – can never get enough of that. The Curve were in town against the Binghamton Mets.
Take a trip back to the ‘hood to capture some memories (and pictures) of 1521 Ninth Street before it gets demolished (as described in RIP – 1521 Ninth Street).
First World Problem: It’s too hot. This trip was a real scorcher. Everyday was mid-to-upper 90s. I was hoping that we would at least get a mini-respite from the heat by the time we got to Altoona but when we pulled into the old Alley around 1:00 PM it was 97 degrees. Of course, I was battling this heat in true warrior fashion, taking copious amounts of water while hopping in and out of a car with AC. But it still was pretty draining. As the only old fart, I seemed to be bothered it more than the others – imagine that. (Although Friday afternoon, the walk up Cardiac Hill in Oakland after a visit to the Pitt campus and lunch at Quaker Steak and Lube on Forbes nearly did us all in.) How in the world did folks survive in the past without conditioned air?
First World Problem: I wish I had bought the six-cylinder. As we started driving around Fairview and some other neighborhoods in the city, it became bloody obvious that my 2009 Honda Civic LX wasn’t going to be a match for the Altoona terrain – not loaded down with three other adults. While we were navigating up 18th Avenue bordering the Fairview Cemetery to see what because of Kite Hill, I think our pace was around six inches a second. I could have sworn I picked up a faint oil scent as well – oh great. But I think I must have been channeling Cody N™ there - everything was fine, vehicle wise, the rest of the trip.
First World Problem: Texas Hot Dogs on 11th Ave is closed. I think I had officially only consumed Altoona’s World Famous Texas Hot Dogs on one occasion since 1994 or so. That was on a trip in 2005 with son Chris on a minor-league baseball jaunt. (I say “officially” because, as observant blog readers will recall, my late Sister-In-Law Kathy prepared an almost “pixel-perfect” copy of that recipe which she fed to us at the beach in 2004). I really had my heart on a stop for lunch at the 11th Ave location, but alas they were closed for the Fourth of July weekend. Doh. So we had to traipse the whole way out to the Goodes Lane location. For a Fairview kid there is really only one Texas Hot Dogs location – I had never even ventured out to that other location before. Out by the mall, you may as well be in one of 800 other cities in the US – the same chains and restaurants and stores you would find in any community that dots an interstate – there is nothing inherently “Altoona” about that area. Enough whining – the food was great and everybody enjoyed it. For the first time, I sampled the baked beans with Texas Hot Dot Dog chili – but in the interest of, cough, air quality for my roommate that evening, I only ate about 1/5 of that side order. You can also apparently order a quart of the Texas Hot Dog Chili, which I wasn’t aware of. Good stuff.
First World Problem: It is such a PITA to buy beer in Pennsylvania. We checked in to the Super 8 in Altoona across from the ballpark around 3:30 PM or so with some time to kill before the 7:00 Curve game. We ran through a couple of cases of domestic lights in the ‘Burgh that we brought along from The Old North State, but we were pretty much out of those, so I took one for the team to do the next beer run, internally moaning about those weird PA Alcohol Laws – that is a true First World Problem there folks. In the back of my mind. I recalled reading that Sheetz had applied for a liquor license for one of their Altoona stores/restaurants so I was just going to set out for 17th Street and play it by ear from there. I hadn’t driven more than a half of a mile before I ran into the Brew Zoo at the Pleasant Valley Shopping Center. It’s great when a plan comes together – they have a 36-pack of Miller Lite on sale for $22 and change – more beer than I need tonight but that is a good price and I can tote the surplus back to NC. Trust me – it didn’t go to waste. (Incidentally, looked like that joint had a decent collection of imports and micro-brews as well.)
First World Problem: The electricity went out during the storm - now I can’t watch the Pirates game. I was back at the Super 8 by 3:50 or so. So the beers get distributed to the mini-fridges in both rooms and we are good to go. Let’s summarize. I am in my hometown, fully satiated with Texas Hot Dogs, and having captured some great shots of my soon-to-be-destroyed childhood house. I have plenty of cold beer available, and I am kicking back for a couple of hours before the Curve game in an air-condition motel. I have JMac dealing against the Giants on Root Sports (4:00 first pitch) in the Super 8 in Altoona. Life is good. (The TV in the Super 8 doesn’t have HD - now I have to watch the Pirates game in Standard Definition and I will miss out on that awesome AGH cam, but that is a minor First World Problem.)
But there is some nasty weather brewing in Blair County this Saturday in early July and it rolls through around 5:30 PM and knocks out power in a large chunk of Hollidaysburg, Lakemont, and you guessed it, the Super 8. Fudge. So we spend the next three hours or so camped out in a mostly powerless Super 8. The hallways are dark, the room that Chris and I are in has no electricity at all, but at least the emergency generator is servicing Joe Jr. and Tony’s room so we flawlessly expedite a transfer of beers from my room to their room (talk about priorities and grace under pressure).
First World Problem: I’ll bet I am going to be screwed with those Curve tickets - I should have just purchased them at the gate. But this still sucks – we have a direct view of the ballpark from our rooms and they have no juice over there. At least we can keep an eye on the progress in restoring electricity to the area – no sense going over to the ballpark until it looks like there will actually be baseball this evening. So we jut chilled, listened to the Pirates game on the radio and drank some beers. Of course, I was starting to get a case of the red-ass as I just that morning had elected to order tickets to the game over the Internet (instead of purchasing at the gate). A rainout (I mean an “electricityout”, groan) wouldn’t really help me here. It would probably not be that convenient for me to get from Hillsborough, NC back to Altoona for the replacement date.
First World Problem: The ballpark has power and the game is on, but you are kicking me out of the Super 8. Tony kept calling the Curve ticket office every 20 minutes or so and they kept telling him that the game hadn’t been called, but there wasn’t much improvement in the electricity story and the early birds gathered outside the gates started to thin out. Finally around 8:30 or so, we received confirmation that the game would be played and start around 8:50.
Almost concurrently with that good news, the Motel Manager brought us some bad news - power was not going to be fully restored to the motel, the motel would have to be evacuated that evening, and we would need to find “alternative lodging” for that evening. Oh, but on the bright side, we could expect to get a full refund from Travelocity. Shit! At that very point in time, what do you suppose every other guest of that Super 8 was going to do? Yep, scramble like hell to find something – anything – available in Altoona. The mad dash was on - we ended up reserving a single room with two double beds at the nearby Motel 6 (not exactly an upgrade from the Super 8 if you ever have had to stay there). Scrambled to pack up and check out. Never a dull moment.
By the time we finally got to the park, it was the top of the second around 9:15 PM or so. Hardly anybody had stuck around to wait that long so it had sort of a ghost-town feel to it. One could clearly hear the outfielders calling for the fly balls, which you don’t typically hear in AA ballparks. Really cozy. The beer lines were non-existent though, so we had that going for us, and we didn’t have to pay for parking. We were in the first row of our section which was adjacent to an exit and chatted up the usher a bit. The entertainment that evening was provided by juggler Mad Chad and I learned from the usher that Chad was pocketing $3K from the Curve for that evening’s work. The usher appeared to be none too pleased about the value proposition there.
Here is a Flickr Slideshow from shots taken on July 7, 2012 at the Peoples Natural Gas Field in Altoona PA where we watched the Binghamton Mets beat the Altoona Curve by a count of 8-2.
